Wednesday, December 10, 2014

*Sips Twinnings Lemon & Ginger Tea* Yasssss Hunny! Grand epic juices flowed down my Instagram feed this weekend! I'm sure you all heard, but in case you didn't? Let me fill you in on the details that seeped into the public domain. Karrueche Tran broke up with Chris Brown, and he embitteredly leaked intimate details of their relationship (from threesomes to contractual obligations stated from the outset) and the circumstances surrounding their breakup (she allegedly cheated with Drake). *smothers tea bag with manuka honey and pours steaming hot water into mug* See, Chris Brown rightly thinks we were all entitled to this information because we are wait, we are friends...hmm scratch that, we are...we're NOTHING to them!
Dress : Red Herring (Debenhams)
I've been thinking about the growth and popularity of gossip of late, and this incident stood to magnify the problem with modern culture; we are too engrossed in the life of others! I for one, scrolled, scowled and was scorned by the tea spilt by Mr Sweet Boy Brown. I just don't understand why there was any real need to tarnish her image publicly. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" William Congreave penned, but I guess  in the age of metrosexuality and mitches, the lines are blurred. My guy was BURNT and felt no way about letting the world see just how wounded he truly was, and point fingers at the root cause while he was at it.
City of Bath
My brother shared a similar exposé with me recently; one of his boys had stumbled across vindictive messages on his girlfriend's phone, informing him of just how exactly she had been cheating on him. My guy then screen captured the texts and put her on blast on his Facebook. Literally a whole album showcasing how his ex had broken his heart. I love a good bit of gossip, God forgive me, but I feel like a line has to be drawn when it comes to the intimate details of one's relationship. I was reading Absolutely Lucy's post on the 10 signs your relationship needs to go offline, and found myself nodding in concurrence on all points made.
Necklace : Abuja Arts & Crafts Market | Watch : Guess
Sandals : Enugu Market
We live in this super snazzy tech world where we feel like our own PR. We can photoshop our lives and crop out the nonsense we'd rather hide from the world. However, in this age of 5 seconds of fame, it seems we've become far too engrossed with sharing than we are living. If Brown had only taken a minute to truly reflect upon his emotions, he'd have exercised some self-restraint before embarrassing Karrueche and himself (and the third parties involved *wink wink*) publicly. I'm not alien or immune to this. I, myself, have previously shared one too many details of my relationship on social networking sites (from Facebook profile pics and relationship statuses to BBM status updates), and was forced to deal with public intrusion when sh*t hit the fan. What happened to intimate details remaining behind closed doors? Perhaps there are some benefits that come of sharing the inner workings of turbulent relationships online; there's been greater awareness of identifying the common traits of domestic abuse and means of its prevention. But for the broken hearted, side-chicked, sore ego'd people out there? Reel it in.
Relationships "should be a private pleasure, not a public boast" Jason Mason Brown

Public Relations

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

"Fashion is a trend, Style lives within a person" Late Oscar de la Renta
This post is beyond tardy, but I was invited to preview M&S's winter collection over Fashion Weekend a few months ago, courtesy of Stylist Magazine and Emerald Street. It was my first time previewing a catwalk show in Somerset House, and I lapped up every minute of it. From the models on the catwalk to the bloggers on the cobblestone pavement; the entire scene was a style-stalker's dream!
"Fashions fade, Style is eternal" Yves Saint Laurent
Shirt : Thrifted (Wales) | Dress : Custom made (Nigeria)
"The difference between style and fashion is quality" Giorgio Armani
Those who've been avid readers will be aware I suffered self-image issues from a young age. Nothing that warranted clinical or psychological intervention, but merely the result of falling victim to teenage bullying. I idealised images in the media, and placed celebrities on a pedestal. My mother was very liberal with her children's wardrobe, and I was allowed to shop for myself from a very young age. Fashion and shopping allowed me to mask all my insecurities in costumes of my choosing. As a result, I learned to express myself through my attire. If I'm down, I donned black, etc...
"The fashionable woman wears clothes. The clothes don't wear her" Mary Quant
Somerset House 
M&S A/W 2014 Collection
"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn" Orson Welles
Shopping for myself, coupled with one too many hours indulging in countless Gok shows, stalking style blogs and reading too many glossy magazines, gave me ample opportunity to learn about my body and how to flatter it, earlier than my peers. That's not to say I've perfected it, but I am soon learning what my uniform of choice is, and how best to adopt certain seasonal trends to match my style. Style is very much subjective, whereas, fashion is objective. I know to steer well clear of bodycon pieces because I'm no Kardashian. Neither will I drown myself in tent-like athletic pieces, because...well, because I just don't like that trend.
"Fashion is what you're offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose" Lauren Hutton
Hat : Forever 21 | Coat : River Island | Chelsea Boots : Dorothy Perkins | Bag : Moschino
"Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak" Rachel Zoe
I was watching a style-less youtuber (and that's not me hating, its just me expressing my subjective opinion which may be concurred by many deeming it true, but I digress) dole out style advice, and it hit me; who gave you the right? Gok thrived in the era of the waist belt (or the 'abortion belt' as its referred to in Nigeria), and endeavoured to tailor every figure to the hourglass silhouette. Yes, the hourglass shape is the most desirable, based on psychological studies on men associating huge breasts, wide hips and a slender waist with the criteria for a maternal woman...but not all of us were blessed with those proportions, or had the dosh to shell out for a silicon rack and fat-infused derrière. What I have learned over the years is that the best way to learn what works for you is through trial and error (who knew GCSE Maths woukd come in handy someday?).  
"Fashion can be bought. Style, one must possess" Edna Woolman Chase
Fashion talks, Style listens. BLEURGH

Fashion Vs Style

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Dress : Oasis | Necklace (pendant detached) : Wallis
I'm sure it doesn't take a degree in Literature or Psychology to suss out what this post will be about. Yeezy's words resonate all too loudly right now; "racism still alive, they just be concealing it", and that works both ways. Unless you've been cocooned beneath a rock for the last half of the year, you will be well aware of the facts; Michael Brown (18 year old, black male) was shot dead by Darren Wilson (28 year old, white police officer) in August 2014. That scene alone paints the image of a faithful law enforcer carrying out his daily duties, and his latest statement "I have a clean conscience, [I] did my job right" wont lead you to believe otherwise. However, its the disputed circumstances of the shooting and the resulting violent protests, that has prompted me to (metaphorically) put pen to paper. Facts Only: an officer carrying out his duty wont cause this level of civil unrest in Ferguson. 
Monk Valley, Turkey
Deeply rooted is the issue of racism, the misuse of police force and the interrelationship between the two. I know the E/M readers among you might have your judgment clouded by the media frenzy created by your favourite African American celebrities, to believe Brown was a stellar example of an angelic black youth, but the facts of the case state that he indeed was fleeing from a convenience store which he had just shoplifted from. That does not excuse the latter actions of the officer, but please...let me land! ABEG! So here he is, with his friend, having looted from a store, and is in effect, stopped & searched. I fortunately have never been in such a situation, but was a youth in the era where the media amplified youth crime in London to the point where every hoodie with a tan was being stopped on these streets. So I have heard first hand information of how your fences go up, and how your defence mechanisms come into full effect once you feel that tap on your shoulder.
Pigeon Valley, Uchisar (Turkey)
So let's go back to the scene...Brown is instructed to step to the sidewalk by PC Wilson, and refuses. What follows is skewed facts about a struggle and *BANG* shots fired. Now, here's where I drop my baton as defence counsel because PC Wilson doesn't stop there but continues to fire shots...12 to be exact. 12 shots to stop a minor shoplifter? He stole ONE item (cigarettes) to my knowledge, and he is victim to capital punishment without the justice of trial? the graphic scenes you see on your screens daily makes sense huh? 
Hiking down Uchisar valley, Turkey
However, racism works both ways. Not every young black male is a criminal, granted. But not every white/caucasian police officer is racist! I get that its important to ask the question of whether this would've occurred, had the shoe been on the other foot? But I can't help but feel that the violent civil protests that have ensued in Ferguson don't serve to glorify Brown's legacy, but further reiterate the root of Wilson's actions. PC Wilson claims to have acted in self-defence, and that is easy to understand in light of the first shot fired, but difficult to justify the eleven shots that followed. Now we see minority protesters being arrested for standing up for this point, but their actions serve little or no purpose, other than to worsen the situation. In America, 'deathly force' is justified, and that is the defence adopted in this case. Much like Rice, this initial judgment has prompted understandable public uproar, and I believe in a judicial system based on the facts presented within the isolated confines of a Tribunal. However, Ferguson has witnessed human quakes since August, as a result of PC Wilson's actions and I see no reason why a middle ground could not have been compromisingly reached. 
I thank God I exist in a country that respects my 'Right to Life' - Art.2 (ECHR), regardless of my skin tone, gender or religious belief #BLEURGH

'cause BROWN was BLACK?

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

My avid followers would've spotted a break in the regular schedule; there was no BLEURGH post last wednesday. That's because I turned 25 and was gifted a week long holiday to Turkey! I love travelling and sharing new experiences with the ones I love (and also you guys), so I was thrilled to pack my bags and jet off to the European border/Asia, for some much needed R&R; rest and recuperation. 
Top : BANK | Skirt : H&M
In the week I was away, I was mildly unplugged. That means I hardly checked my social networks; only communicated with my nearest and dearest; and abstained from sifting through hundreds of emails trawling in daily. When I did, I found modern Western life to be consumed with image, frivolities and this 'jumping on the bandwagon' lifestyle. I can illustrate this using the 3 most talked about topics:
1) Kim's 'Break the Internet' PAPER cover - why are we shocked or even willing to discuss this cover as controversial when this woman's fame is founded on a sex tape? NEXT!
2) Solange's White Wedding - Yes, it was a beautiful and effortlessly elegant wedding, but I was so confused waking up to an entire timeline littered with the same image. Geez people! Plant the seed of originality and grow a brain! Must we all post the same thing? NEXT!
3) BandAid 30 - From condescending lyrics to a near white-wash lineup of British talent, I'm not quite sure where to even start with this topic. "Do they know its Christmas?"...I mean, do the artists involved in the project even have a clear cut understanding of the message of Christmas? Because, regardless of what the consumer-product-obsessed-West would have you believe, its not all about Santa, presents and candy canes *sigh* 
Aspendos Bridge, Turkey
Just the thought of sinking back into this culture of comparison and consumerism is unacceptable, so I was thrilled to have gone away and come back with a polished mindset, ready to tackle the future. I'm African, and the concept of R&R is lost on my people. Their idea of R&R is visiting their hometown/village during festive seasons, and I can't knock that because I used to tag along for the ride as a kid and loved the freedom of villa-life. However, having grown up and lived in diaspora only to return to the Motherland occasionally, I have found such villa trips tiresome and taxing. That's not to say I don't enjoy it, or that my parents loathe it, but you spend half your time out there repairing and fixing the home to what it once was, and the other half entertaining the countless guests who'll inevitably drop by upon news of your arrival. No matter how low key you are, these trips seem less of a holiday upon returning to the UK, as you feel spent not just financially but emotionally and physically also.
Necklace (pendant detached) : Wallis | Bag : Warehouse | Sunglasses : Oscar De La Renta
This trip to Turkey however, was God-sent...literally! I'm a Christian, a Historian, an Activist, a Sociologist, Psychologist, Sponge of modern and historical culture...among other things. So I was not even half prepared for this utterly enriching journey. I learned so much about myself as a Christian, a woman and a friend, and left rejuvenated and ready to face the next chapter of my life. Needless to say, this #QuarterCentury chapter of my life is off to a great start!
"Rest is sweet to those who labour" Plutarch

R&R in Turkey

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

This post was inspired by the most recent episode of TOWIE, where Ricky slated his (now ex) girlfriend's bedroom antics as "f*cking boring" (pardon his language). As both my and my friend's jaws dropped to the ground, it opened the dialogue on double standards, sex appeal and the plight of womanhood. 
Dress : ASOS | Heels (not pictured) : Steve Madden
I can't help but look back at some of my judgment in the past on promiscuous females, especially those in the media. These females have been publicly ostracised for their sexual indecency, and made to feel ashamed for openly expressing their sexuality. Again, I will reiterate, I do not condone such behaviour as in the same way men are expected to behave gentlemanly in public, so also should the lady-like standard be held up for females. I am not pitting a gender against the other, merely stating that I wouldn't respect a man who slushed his peen in my face, neither will I accept the same from THOTs. 
Me & Lolli at a wedding
Back to the matter...if these females are cast out for their overtly sexual demeanour, then why is it that same hand (that of a man) points to females again, branding them 'boring' in a negative manner? Men proclaim not to wife hoes because no one is down for the chore of turning a hoe into a housewife. Yet, they are equally unwilling to wife a bore who they'll have to train to turn tricks on the bedroom pole.
Ring & Tennis Bracelet : Swarovski
"A lady in the street but a freak in the sheets" (or its derivative) is probably the most overused rap lyric of all time, and perhaps they're on to something. But I can't help but feel hard done by, as a woman, to have to fit certain criteria for the public and later, in private. Men are just expected to be one thing; gentlemanly. That requires treating your woman as a queen, aspiring to better yourself and your family, etc etc. Yet a woman must fit far too many moulds as wife, mother, lover, to name a few. I blame the likes of Steve Harvey, who have moulded the task of being a woman in the 21st Century as a calculated equation of sussing out how to be "bawdy in thoughts, [yet] precise in words" John Wilmot. It's clear that a man can be himself and still bag a baby momma, a wife and whatever else...but women are conditioned to alter this and taper that, to be deemed appealing to the opposite sex. What's wrong with Jess choosing to remain demure in the bedroom? And the same applies for the alternative...just seems very hypocritical to me. 
Be you a bore or a whore? Be yourself, is all I implore. BLEURGH

Bore or Whore

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